Category Would have been a Tweet if not for circumstances

Local band Blackberry Smoke report that much of their gear was stolen on Wednesday. The band’s web site has a picture of someone they suspect may be responsible for the theft.

Somebody asked “Why are you, Andisheh Nouraee, just coming forward now about being the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, Danielynn? Is it for the money?” Good question. Insulting, but good. 90% of the reason I’m coming forward now is…

“What’s next? Marrying an animal?” -Braves pitcher John Smoltz, criticizing proponents of gay marriage in 2004. “Braves star John Smoltz and his wife Dyan are getting a divorce, the pitcher’s agent said Friday.” –AJC.com So, what’s next, John? Marrying an…

Does anyone know why a U.S. Army Blackhawk helicopter was circling Decatur, Ga. this morning at around 10:30? Are the terrorists brunching or something?

“With the secular progressives controlling the city, you have seen chaos everywhere. And it all comes back to the fact that their view of life is undisciplined – it’s do what you want when you want it. I believe San…

A Time Warner employee has threatened to blow up Earth with an explosive device he calls the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. When asked why, the employee would only say this.

Two people have been arrested in connection with the Aqua Teen Hunger Force ad campaign that Boston officials mistook for terrorism. Apparently, it’s a crime in Massachussetts to post jokey ads that paranoid police officials don’t understand. The most disturbing…

or something like that . . . Nine blinking electronic devices planted at bridges and other spots in Boston threw a scare into the city Wednesday in what turned out to be a marketing campaign for a late-night cable cartoon.…

“Where is the Muslim Martin Luther King? Where is the “Million Muslim March” under the banner: ‘No Shiites, No Sunnis: We are all children of the Prophet Muhammad.’” -The New York Times’ Thomas Friedman from the column “Martin Luther Al-King?“,…