Huge news! I found the meaning of life.
Category: Would have been a Tweet if not for circumstances
Super Bowl el-vee-ay-ay-ay
Twitter was a joke genre that I’ll miss.
Like New Yorker cartoons, Twitter jokes are a genre that only make sense because of the medium. I’ll miss that and feel petty for hating the owner more for ruining my phone than I do for his naked fascism.
Beethoven Meatballs are coming
Happy Valentine’s Day
Get your Valentine a gift they’ll remember.
Anything goes once you’re inside though.
When the cheese on the pizza is too hot
But you’re really, really hungry.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Combination locks of love
If you ever find yourself on a “locks of love” bridge, look closely. For every 99 pad locks whose key was presumably tossed in the river below to symbolize a bond that cannot be undone, there’s usually one combination lock.
A combination lock of love might lack romantic ardor, but maybe not everyone wants ardor. Maybe some people find realism and practicality romantic.
Or maybe they were on vacation and all they had was a luggage lock.
